Love is behind you

It feels sick in the stomach
For it doesn't feel anywhere else
With time you gain a numbness
That fills all your cells

You think time will heal
And words will be forgotten
Indeed that does happen
But your heart may no more soften

You pay and pay with tears
Till you can pay no more
But your debt is not repaid
And fresh tears resume to pour

One moment you don't care
And you know it is not bravado
Next moment you regret that
"How can I think so?"

"Am I a horrible person
To change like a chameleon
To keep swaying to and fro
Like a switch off and on"

Oh no! You ARE over him
You don't miss what you had
But that makes you guilty
"Shouldn't I feel desperately sad?"

You fear what you said was a lie
Even though it was then true
Truth is not all black and white
With time blood turns from red to blue

So where are you now?
You have no idea, do you?
When you have your eyes tight shut
You can't say, can you?

So open your eyes wide
And take a look around you
And remember wherever you turn
What you see is in front of you